what the f***

anorexic
alcoholic
drug addict
definitions of my life. why cant i drink when i want to drink? why cant i do drugs or pop some pills when i want to? why do i have to be a "normal weight?" im sick and tired of ppl telling me what to do, but i dont really have a choice with some things. 38 days clean and sober, but the anorexia is not the same. i really working on trying to lose more weight... im disgusting right now and cant deal with it. eugh.... its so frustrating!!!